Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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