you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
