so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
