I love black thongs
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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