my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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