Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
