just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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