The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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