took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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