I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
