my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
