Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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