i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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