I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
