oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ttyl tear gas
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
