I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
