Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
