if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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