So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
