It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
