You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
