I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
