The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
