ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
