are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
