I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
