just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I want a musical about memes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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