Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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