I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
