You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
