I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
