TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
