Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
