I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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