someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
