He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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