we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
