drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
