i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
