i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
