Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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