STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
