no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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