I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
