We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
