I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Come on in and take your pants off
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