she was so not down for the gang bang
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
