I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
