This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
