OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
